Ladies, we need to talk.
On Monday I sent an email out to my subscribers asking what their number one struggle is. (By the way, please feel free to email or private message me on FB if you’d like to share your #1 struggle– I’m using this information to build out future programs including some free ones). The #1 thing I heard was: I don’t feel good enough.
While it manifests in different ways, including relationships, careers, motherhood, body image and money issues, the underlying message was the exact same. And here’s the thing. I know some of these women – and I can see how freaking brilliant and amazing and beautiful and loving they are.
But somehow it’s hard to see our own amazingness. We are so busy and stretched thin that we don’t feel like we are being the best we can be in all areas of our lives. We’ve confused doing with being, and we’ve assigned our value to doing. We do something that we think is 99% perfect, and we criticize ourselves over the 1% that was OK. Maybe that means it wasn’t good enough? Does that mean I’m not good enough?
So I have a challenge for you. For the next 24 hours, I want you to say fuck it to not feeling good enough.
Below are some quickie ways to silence that two-horned voice in your head. No, they won’t fully get rid of the voice – that’ll take more work – but you can start the process today by picking a few from this list and going for it! What have you got to lose?!
- Put down the i-whatever (pad, phone, mac). That one little detail that you keep obsessing over and relating to your worthiness isn’t going to change a darn thing, but it will keep you stuck in a cycle of obsessing and perfecting.
- Listen to your favorite song – the one that makes you sing out loud and dance without caring – the one speaks to your soul and reminds you that anything is possible and so are you.
- When you’re obsessing over the tiny thing that you could have done better, stop and consciously reflect on everything amazing you did today, or better yet, the amazing ways you showed up – your personality and spirit.
- Give yourself the same level of compassion and love that you’d give to a friend.
- Call an amazing girlfriend and tell her why you think she’s amazing, or call her and tell her you need a reminder about why you’re amazing.
- Take some time to reconnect with yourself – deep breathing, exercising, meditating, gardening, or whatever it is that makes you at ease within.
- Give the voice of the inner critic a name and let her know you don’t need her help right now. “Oh hey there girl, I hear ya. Thank you so much for trying to help me in your twisted way, but I got this and I don’t need your help right now. “
- If giving the voice a name is a little too out there for you, simply witness what’s going on. “Wow, I totally just started telling myself I’m not good enough.” In addition to the internal voice telling us we’re not good enough, it can also show up in our actions, which can be a little more tricky to catch. However, when you do, just notice it. It’ll instantly release the intensity of the critical thoughts. And then you’re free to choose another thought or behavior.
- Create a mantra to say throughout the day. Mine is “I am a spark of divine light.” It can be anything…I am a badass…I am awesome…I am a unicorn. Whatever makes you feel giddy inside when you say it is your mantra!
Because you are worthy…
Of having the life you want.
Of having that business you want.
Of having the love you want.
Of being kind and compassionate to the awesome woman within.
Of having the healthy body you want.
Of feeling free inside.
Of owning your awesome.
Of sharing your magical light with the world.
Of not worrying about what everyone else thinks.
Of anything else you want.
…even if you weren’t perfect today, this week, or ever. Even if you were mad, snippy, bitchy or anything else, you still deserve greatness.Those moments simply mean you’ve disconnected from yourself and it’s time to reconnect. It doesn’t mean it’s time to beat yourself up or question your worth. Don’t let your inner critic tell you otherwise.
So rock out some of the items from the list above and let me know how it goes! And, let me know what works for you, what you’re struggling with, or what shifts you experience! Most importantly, enjoy a mini-vacation from that buzz kill in your mind! 😉