While so much of a fertility journey is out of our hands, I firmly believe that how we interact with it can help create or block our success, as well as settle our nerves. You can energetically align with your desired pregnancy, which creates greater flow and allowing. Here are some practices that worked for me.
I didn’t use each of them every day. For example, I didn’t force visualizing when I wasn’t feeling it. Most days it came naturally because it felt joyful and fun. However, leading up to the transfer, the visualization portion of my journey felt complete, so I stopped and moved into connecting with a creative force phase.
Use some of these, create your own, and give yourself permission to transitions through them as the energy feels aligned!
1. Release attachment to an IVF pregnancy
Trust me, I know. That’s a doozy to even read. But one of the biggest ways we block our desires is by being too attached to the outcome. I get it, you’re thinking, how can I not be attached to IVF working when I’ve spent all of this time, energy, money and butt shots preparing for it? 😉 I felt the same way for a while!!!
But I also knew from my spiritual studies and life experiences that attachment blocks receiving. It took me a while to figure it out, but then I realized…IVF is the “how” I believed I would get pregnant, given the information I had.
Ultimately, I don’t need to be attached to the “how” I get pregnant. It is more important to focus my energy on believing I would get pregnant and let the universe take care of the how.
Maybe this IVF procedure will work. Maybe it will completely fail, and I’ll naturally get pregnant a month later. I know women who have experienced that, even when they were told it was impossible.
Ultimately a soul coming down to this earth is the greatest miracle of all, and we can’t force that soul’s timing or journey. All we can do it prepare, take action, and believe it will happen. For me, IVF felt like the best action to take, the practices below helped me be ready, and I held faith it would happen.
That being said, obviously, I had a very strong desire for IVF to work, as I’m sure you do too, but ultimately focusing on my faith that I’d get pregnant “somehow” allowed me to stay in the energy of allowing and receiving and reduce the pressure I felt around IVF being successful.
2. Connect with a creative force that gives you a sense of awe
Connecting with a creative force that was far greater than me – but also a part of me – was huge in the weeks leading up to my embryo transfer. It settled my nerves and reminded me of the magic of this universe
For me it had to do with nature. Specifically, the sky. I’d do my nightly meditation up on our rooftop. After I settled into one of the couches, all I could see is the stars, clouds, vast sky and the very tops of palm trees. Our neighborhood is super quiet at night so all I could hear was the waves crashing. That viewpoint felt like a direct channel to heaven.
As I was embarking on this journey to create the most magnificent thing of my life, a baby, there was not a more powerful creative force to align with than nature. It’s hard for me to put into words the reassurance and awe I felt internally during that nightly practice. That energy that flows through the stars and the trees and the water also flows through me. All I have to do is allow it, just like nature allows all of its experiences. It’s all effortless in nature…no resistance. I felt cracked open, vulnerable and massive flow in those moments. Find your rooftop moment!
3. Surround yourself with people who are energetically aligned with your desires
This one can be tricky! You might have a best friend who has had a negative experience with IVF, or a relative who believes you should stick with the natural path. Like anything else, this journey might bring you closer to people you otherwise wouldn’t be, and create some distance with those you normally rely on.
I’m super sensitive and I can feel when someone’s words aren’t aligned with their energy. I encountered my fair share of people who were outwardly positive about my IVF journey, but I could feel their deep inner fear. They were putting on a brave face for me, but deep inside they were terrified it wouldn’t work out.
I distanced myself from some people. Others I kept in touch with but didn’t necessarily rely on as a support system. I got crystal clear who my fertility tribe was. In those moments of fear and doubt, you need a few people who can hold the faith for you, like I had.
I also had a bunch of girlfriends, including two of my besties, who got pregnant in the months leading up to my pregnancy. Instead of being jealous, or wondering, why not me, I chose to believe that being around that pregnancy energy was helping to cultivate that energy within me. One of the words on my vision board this year was tribe, and the universe gave me a tribe of pregnant women. Side note: A couple weeks before the embryo transfer, I felt I had done all I could and wanted to not focus on pregnancy anymore. So, I took a little break from my pregnant friends, except one who was a key member of my support team. 🙂 Like I said, it’s okay to do what feels right for you at each moment in time.
4. Align with people who have had IVF success
I started following people on Instagram who I knew had IVF success, especially those who had success the first time around. Some celebrities aren’t open about it, but if they’re over 35 and have twins, you can bet they’ve done IVF or more. Also, some women (bloggers and influencers) are open with their journeys and with a little digging around you can find and follow their success stories. Honestly one of the people I followed pretty religiously was a former Real Housewife, who I didn’t really care for when she was on the show, but grew to appreciate her fertility journey once I was on my own. I no longer pay attention to her stuff, but at that point in my life, she was an inspirational influence and energetically aligned with my desires. She had the results I was hoping to create.
I also became closer to some women I knew who had IVF success. I am so grateful for their positive influence and understanding in my journey.I stayed away from the online support groups as I found them to be people sharing mostly failures and complaining. Personally, I didn’t want to be surrounded by that energy. Maybe there are some good support groups out there, and I didn’t spend enough time exploring. Be mindful of the energy of those groups and how you feel after you’ve interacted with other members. Your experience could be totally different than mine.
5. Connect with ancestors
I was very close with my grandparents, and although I never met my husband’s dad, I felt strongly that he was helping us out. I talked to each of them regularly and asked for their helping a little soul (or souls) come down to us. The afternoon I was waiting for the phone call from my doctor to let me know if I was pregnant, I stood between a picture of my grandfather and father-in-law and asked for their support. (My husband was out of town and my friend wasn’t over yet.)
I also had an aunt who was dying of cancer as I headed into my second egg retrieval. I knew in my gut she would pass right around the egg retrieval. It wasn’t that she had to pass for a soul to come down to us, but I felt like there was some kind of ancestral changing of the guards in our family happening, and she was helping facilitate a little girl coming our way. This all happened around the pink moon, and sure enough we did get a healthy girl embryo from that retrieval, which turned into a healthy pregnancy. 🙂 She passed the day before my procedure. I believe she too helped our little girl come down to us.
I chose our procedure dates based on moon cycles and the number two, but we later realized our daughter was transferred on my husband’s grandmother’s birthday, and her due date is my father-in-law’s anniversary of passing. I take those as little signs that we did indeed have our family’s support from above.
6. Visualize yourself pregnant
This is one of the first things I’d recommend doing. Get your vision board going and do a lot of visualizing. I put pregnancy and children in two areas on my vision board (health and children sections), and I gave that vision board some daily love and attention. I looked at it before and after I meditated. Our subconscious speaks in images – by viewing what we want we’re actually helping create it.
For the majority of our IVF journey, I meditated in a room that would be the baby’s room. At the end of each meditation, I’d spend a few minutes visualizing pregnancy and babies. The visuals felt SO REAL that I felt surprised when I opened my eyes and didn’t see a crib and a baby in the room. (Our brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and what we are visualizing and will work to create our visions for us – easy way to help you towards your desires!). Plus, visualizing is fun and brings a joyful energy into the IVF process.
7. Get focused
Let the universe know you’re damn serious about getting pregnant. As I reflect back, in the first three quarters of 2017 I was focused on many priorities, probably too many. I finally prioritized pregnancy. I got focused and communicated my direct desire by making lifestyle changes and by doing the things I wrote in this blog. It isn’t about mentally obsessing or stressing about getting pregnant (attachment!), it’s about letting the universe know you’re ready through aligning your actions with your desires. Where is an opportunity for better alignment and clarity in your life?
8. Connect with your baby’s spirit
Talk to them as if they’re already in your belly! Have fun with it! Put your hand on your belly and warm up that little nest she or she will be living in!
9. Clear the mental crap (aka meditate)
Speaking of meditation, it’s a must during IVF, IMO. It helps release stress and clear the mental crap we accumulate during the journey. I did a Kundalini meditation for over a year that not only clears the crap from our subconscious but it also uses a mantra that aligns us with the flow of life. Plus, it has scientifically backed evidence of helping to reduce stress and lower cortisol levels, and many more benefits!
10. Feel your fear and choose faith
Fear can feel paralyzing through the IVF journey, but it doesn’t have derail you or your desires. I wrote a whole separate blog on this topic that you should check out if you’re experiencing fear. I think it’s that important.
I hope these practices serve you, and I’d love to hear of any that worked for you. If you have any specific questions about the ones I shared, please feel free to comment below.