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Oh, baby! 41 and Pregnant

By November 20, 2018May 14th, 2020IVF and Fertility

Being pregnant at 41 with my first child is definitely one of the greatest miracles I’ve experienced in my life. I am so excited, happy, grateful, and I am loving every second of pregnancy now that I’m in my second trimester. It is a magical experience that’s unlike anything I’ve ever known. Feeling her first movement. Basking in the happy hormones. Being able to eat gluten ;-).

But the journey here…well, it was less than magical.

On paper my fertility journey was “easy” compared to many others. Right after I turned 40, I got pregnant. It didn’t stick. A couple months later we started working with an incredible fertility doctor, and I got pregnant on my first IVF embryo transfer, which is rare, especially for my age. But scratch the surface and you’ll see it was one of the harder journeys of my life.

As I stumbled through two egg retrievals and an embryo transfer, I often felt alone, anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin (I gained 35ish lbs.) and ultimately scared that it wouldn’t work. Until I was in it, I had no idea how isolating a fertility journey can feel for a woman, or how many women are experiencing it.

My original intention was to simply share our joyful news. We’re having a baby! But, the further I got into our fertility process, the more compelled I felt to share all of it.

First, I want to provide support for any women going through their own fertility journey. Second, I want to share some methods I used that contributed to a successful embryo transfer the first time around. Third, I want to create more transparency about fertility in your 40s.

I guess I was naïve, but I had no idea getting pregnant in your 40s is a lot harder than the celebrities make it seem. (Hint: they’re spending a lot of money and using egg donors.) And for some women, fertility becomes an issue earlier than 40.

I believe in miracles and that anything is possible. I also know of a couple of women who had a healthy baby naturally in their 40s. So, I assumed a natural pregnancy in my 40s would be possible for me too.

I got pretty attached to having a baby the good old-fashioned way, oblivious to what my specific fertility numbers were, or that statistically I had a 5% chance of naturally having a healthy baby at my age. And, as anyone who is into manifesting knows, attachment to the “how” can be the biggest block to receiving our desires.

Knowing what I know now, I would have frozen my eggs after a divorce in my early 30s. I would have used the women I’ve heard of who naturally had babies in their 40s as sources of inspiration but not as a game plan. I would have been better informed about my numbers and more open to the “how” I got pregnant. I would also have embraced the belief that modern medicine creates miracles. Because…a baby is a miracle, whether she comes to you naturally, through IVF or IUI, through an egg donor, surrogate or through adoption.

All that being said, I have no regrets. I am beaming with gratitude for this little baby girl, and I’m excited to share resources with you. I hope they help you or someone you know.

In these blogs I am as raw, vulnerable and transparent as I can be, regarding the costs, the emotional and physical highs and lows, the lifestyle changes, and the things I credit to our successful outcome. Everything I share played an important role in our success – Chinese medicine, western medicine, woo medicine, techniques for managing fears and manifesting your desired pregnancy – and I hope they help contribute to yours.

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