We all have a need to belong. To be connected to others. For extroverts, that need is heightened. Please, include me. Let me be a part of whatever you’re doing. Quite frankly, I’ve found that my extroversion challenges my spirituality. 🙂
I’ve spent many nights headed to dinner, intending to order protein and vegetables. But once I get there, and my friends order the cheeseboard, I partake. Why? My desire to be part of the group trumps my desire to stick to veggies. I’m aware of the trigger. I’m aware of what’s happening. And I sometimes still choose the cheese. 😉
I’ve read elsewhere that this can be a symptom of lack of self worth. Or, it can be a lack of self control. Those are not true for me. It’s truly a desire to connect. Could I connect with friends without eating the cheese? Sure. But it’s just not as fun. 😉 After all, we are human.
Doreen Virtue shared a line that stuck with me. Extroverts tend to eat more because we are busier paying attention to how others’ are doing, and what’s happening with the conversation, than we are to how much we’re shoveling down our throats. Umm…yes. Finally, someone understands. We are less prone to notice if we’re full, buzzed, late, etc. 😉 We are busy checking in with others and forget to check in with ourselves.
What the heck does cheese have to do with spirituality anyway? It’s just an example, but I’ll explain. (Feel free to substitute cheese with wine, shopping, or other.) Part of my spiritual practice relates to what I put into my system as it inhibits or promotes connection with my body, mind and spirit. Anything we put into our bodies – words, thoughts, emotions, food, or drink – can affect our whole energy system, enabling us to feel and be our best, or weigh us down. For my body, cheese isn’t the best option (it’s also not the worst!). Eating veggies and protein definitely leaves me feeling physically better than eating cheese.
Aside from that, there are other charming extroverted qualities that can impact spirituality. 😉
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
Mindfulness tools, like meditation, can be scary. Sitting alone. Alone? While everyone else is off doing something? What am I missing out on?
Speaking before thinking
You know, a little Foot in Mouth Syndrome. We say it before we think about it. We can unintentionally offend easily. 😉
Processing out loud
We don’t process inside. We talk through it out loud. Which can be thoroughly annoying for others, and it might even sound more mindless than mindful. 🙂
What’s the solution?
Well, I haven’t mastered this, but here is what I know so far. I don’t want to deny my extroverted needs nor my spiritual needs. What works for me is managing my ‘energy’ bank account. In other words, being aware of how my choices affect my energy. Here are a few rules of thumb I practice…
Assess the consequences
If I don’t have clients the next day, or some personal activity that requires me to feel my absolute best, I’ll probably choose to go ahead and sample some deliciousness. Buuutt…if I will put stress on my body by indulging, then I’ll hold off for another time.
Know my limits
I know what serving sizes work for my body, and what foods I have to completely avoid because of allergies. It has taken time to understand, but now it’s automatic. I don’t have to think about it when I’m busy conversing. I can engage with others without mindlessly over-indulging. (Consciously over-indulging is a totally different conversation lol.)
Be flexible
Finally, I give myself permission to adjust. If I spontaneously do something (e.g. stay up late or eat cheese) during a weeknight that will predictably throw off my system, I’ll balance it. I adjust my weekend plans to make sure my energy isn’t too depleted by the end of the week.
P.S. While I’ve made some generalizations in this blog, it is partially based on my professional experience and training. I spent years in the corporate space analyzing behavioral assessments and coaching leaders and teams on the differences between extroverts and introverts. And I’m an extrovert. 😉
