Many outwardly successful, bright, beautiful women have a secret. Despite external appearances, they don’t feel good enough. That drives many of us to be overachievers, perfectionists, overly responsible, burnt out and more.
Living life this way creates internal pressure and stress. Because when our worth depends on external validation, we are only good enough when we are succeeding. It’s a joy-sucking cycle.
So let’s talk about how we can change that…
Raising our worthiness levels consists of mental, behavioral, emotional and spiritual components, in my experience. But for today’s blog I’m going to talk about the first one: mindset.
I believe it’s the starting point as a few mindset shifts can create a higher vibe within a matter of seconds.
But first, let’s talk worthiness…
Worthiness can show up as a result (or lack of a result).
For example, money, career, relationships, body image and more. We’re not making the money we want. We’re not looking the way we want. We’re not living where we want. Deep down somewhere inside we might not feel worthy of it.
Worthiness can also show up in the way we experience life.
For example, are we allowing or blocking ourselves from experiencing joy as we engage in an activity we like? Are we expressing ourselves authentically as we communicate something we are passionate about? Or, are we questioning how people will react to what we have to say? Are we celebrating our accomplishment or worrying about the next task?
I’ve found that most people focus on the big result (money, food, body, etc.), which can feel overwhelming. Like there’s a major problem within us that needs fixing. But..
When we can make some small shifts in how we’re experiencing life, through our thoughts, we can experience an automatic worthiness boost.
So let’s walk through an example…
You have a brilliant idea. And then an attack of the unworthies paralyzes you. Doubt and fear seem to take over your being. What if this idea is stupid? What if they don’t like it? What if I’m not good enough for this job?
The next thing you know, you’ve gone from having a great idea to wondering if you’re going to get fired.
Instead of taking back your power (noticing the doubts and releasing them), you handed your power right over to your doubts and fears (listening to the crazy voice within).
In my experience two predictable things happen:
- We begin trusting the total liar within that’s telling us we’re not good enough.
- We begin analyzing and judging why we’re not good enough. Where is this doubt and fear coming from? Why does this always happen? What’s wrong with me? OMG I’m such a failure for feeling this way again!
We feed right into the fear machine, which convinces us that our original doubt and fear were 100% right. Except most of the time that’s not true!
Next time try this mindset technique instead.
It’s one small piece that I teach in the “Master Your Worthy Girl Mindset” Module in Wild Light Warrior.
- Notice the fear. Questioning our worth is just a form of fear. Fear of not being good enough, doing good enough, etc. When you are able to step back and see the fear, you loosen its grip on you. Hey, wait a second, I see you popping up.
- Question the fear. Is it a fact? It is 100% certain and undeniably true? Every other person on this planet would agree? You’ll find that quickly puts the fear in its place since our fears are usually false or extremely exaggerated. Nope, this fear is not logical and not based in reality.
- Make a choice. What is a different thought that is better aligned with what you want to be, do, have, create? What thought reflects the truth of who you are? While everyone might not love this idea, I believe in it, and it’s focused on our customers which is something my whole team values.
This is a quick technique you can use on the fly when your doubts and fears arise in the middle of a busy day. It will reset your energy and likely change your reaction to the situation.
Instead of giving fear power, you take back your power. Try it out and see how it feels!
As I mentioned, this is one tiny piece of a process I teach in Wild Light Warrior, a 6-week transformational program, which is now open for enrollment.
I am so passionate about sharing this program with you because the number one thing I hear from women is that they don’t feel good enough. And I’m on a mission to change that. With some powerful tools, a supportive tribe and a transformational process, you can 100% master the worthy girl mindset and so much more.
Because you deserve to live life knowing deep in the core of your being that you are worthy AF.